Why I'm Getting Phalloplasty

I decided some point last year that I was finally ready for this stage of my transition. Beginning my transition, I sort of ruled out even having phalloplasty because I wasn't happy with the pictures of the results I was finding. I did not think that it would even be important to me, my philosophy was "you can't miss what was never there", and for a while, I didn't. My transition was moving along at a good speed, and I felt happy with the rate at which things were moving, and I felt that way up until about a year ago.

I felt that my transition had become stagnant. It was chugging along like the little engine that could, and then it slowed down and lost it's speed. I wanted more. I suddenly started to feel so incomplete without having a penis. To add to that, it's not just a feeling of incompletion, it's also a feeling of being stuck. I feel like I can not continue with my life like others my age, until I am complete myself. I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets jealous of what all of their friends on Facebook or Instagram are sharing about their lives, how they are growing up and progressing.

Another BIG reason I am getting this procedure is because I am so tired about worrying where I am going to be able to comfortably use the bathroom in public. A lot of cisgender men actually sit to pee, and I am not bashing that or calling them any less of a man, I am only saying that for me, it's important that I am able to stand to pee.

I am also highly interested in being able to penetrate during sex. I feel like it is something I am missing out on, and I want to feel more deeply connected with my partner. I can't even imagine the intimacy that can come from being able to penetrate.

I have big dreams for myself. I don't want to be depressed anymore. I want to be able to move about like comfortably and confidently as the man I have always known I am.